So the time has come that I must return to work and leave my precious boy for 10+ hours each day. I can not describe how utterly upset that I am over this. Seriously, when I was pregnant, I would fret over having to go back to work once the baby was born. Now, don't get me wrong, I have had the luxury to have an amazing 13 weeks off thus far, and will have a total of 15 weeks when I return. I am just so sad that I can not be a stay-at-home Mom at this time in my life. But I know that the time isn't right for me to stay home right now, and hopefully in a few years when we have Baby Wood #2 on the way, I can make that decision at that time. My husband and I are working furiously right now to get to a spot where we can both afford it and appreciate it.
Just about 2 weeks ago, my husband and I purchased a vehicle! We are so happy to finally have found a car to fit our new family! :) Although it was not new, it is a new car to us and we couldn't be happier! We purchased a 2002 Toyota 4 Runner that has just enough room for all of Liam's necessities, as well as extra room! My husband will drive this new SUV, as it drives like a truck and it was his car that we replaced, but also because I still continue to drive a fair distance to work everyday, and it is not logical for me to drive the car at this time. I would LOVE to have the extra space for Liam's stroller and all that other stuff, but I have to be honest, my Maxima does the job just fine! :)
As I write this, I am nursing Liam and thinking about how much I am going to miss him tomorrow. I never realized how much I LOVED to nurse him until I had to solely rely on pumping while at work, and I must say, I miss the bonding of nursing when I can't nurse him! The bond is so strong, that only other nursing mothers understand. I hope to continue to breastfeed him for another 3-6 months. I know that there will be a time that he will transition into solid food and my breast milk will phase itself out, and I think how hard it will be. It is almost as if he is detaching himself from me step-by-step...first, the umbilical cord was cut to separate him from my belly, then he is being nursed and relies on my breast milk for nourishment, and soon enough, he will no longer need that. It kills me to think of that.
I have not been on here much lately, due to spending so much time outside recently with the glorious sunshine! I am addicted to the pool and the sun, and when it's nice outside, you can't keep me indoors! Luckily, Liam loves to be outside and is always on his best behavior when we are at the pool. I have a lovely tan going on, so at least there is a reward for my efforts of sunbathing! Now that I am indoors, I am able to reconnect to my cyber world, all the while nursing my beautiful son!
I still look at him and find it hard to believe that I grew him in my belly. My husband and I still look at each other and talk about how crazy it is that we created such an adorable human being. I am so in love.
Now I am off to bed to rest up for my day back to work tomorrow...
Keep in the Sunlight!
Jessica
